Speak EV - Electric Car Forums banner

1 - 20 of 60 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,077 Posts
If the dentists go on lockdown,
brace yourselves!
My wife is a dentist - she's trying to figure out what the hell to do with the available recommendations. They won't be seeing anyone for routine stuff!
 

·
Registered
Kona PremSe64k 2020+bluelink +ohme
Joined
·
504 Posts
All this keepng your distance stuff, I simply think a good ol' British rouse to prove that speaking louder is the proper way to speak when you want to be understood. DID YOU HEAR ME, LOUDER!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
282 Posts
When someone eventually makes the film of all this, who would you cast as Donald Trump? Boris Johnson? I'm struggling a bit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
282 Posts
Jelly baby goes to the doctors. 'Doctor, doctor,I think I have the Corona virus.' Doctor shouts, ' GET OUT OF MY SURGERY'. 'Alright says the Jelly baby, no need to bite my head off.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
802 Posts
Discussion Starter #18 (Edited)
I have a bone to pick with Sturgeon, she came wading in... sticking her a ore in when the allegations were flying, but now Salmond is off the hook and some say the SNP are now up a creek without a paddle.

It all sounds a little fishy to me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,543 Posts
An oldie but still makes me smile :)

WINDOWS VS FORD

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.


2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
 
1 - 20 of 60 Posts
Top